Life is a thing caught between two eternities.
I think that's from a movie in a funeral scene and it got me thinking about existence on this planet. Existence as a unique bubble in a universe that may have never had a beginning and may never stop expanding. Infinity surrounding a finite world. I got trapped thinking about infinity and trying to comprehending it and I don't like being trapped, so I jumped off that train of thought and instead I began thinking about what makes this world finite. Well, lots of things here are finite, but time is a biggie. We only have so much time and in western culture it seems that every aspect of our lives is measured according to that time... how long... when... I wonder about how long I have to wait before I don't hurt anymore...

So I've been thinking about the uses of time. Time and pain - units of measurement that have acquired importance far surpassing physical units- and the relationship between them. I have come to understand that time is not a healer, time is an anesthetic. Pain is only numbed or evaded as time goes by. Perhaps if enough of it goes by, one might altogether forget what needs healing, but pain is rarely contained by time and is never healed by it, at least in my experience. Maybe some people's suffering is redeemed over a span of time by that time itself, but it has never worked that way for me. Everything that hurts me must be acknowledged by feeling that pain and more often than not, feeling is inconvenient at the time of offence, so I subconsciously repress pain. Sometimes I wish time had the power to contain pain to the moment of injury. It would be almost pleasant if cause and effect were simultaneous in beginning and end, but even if it weren't up to my subconscious, somethings hurt enough to break boundaries set by time and often the cause ends long before the effect is even realized. I am learning this first hand.